


Not Your Average Call

by justanexercise



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, soccer cop - Freeform, soccercop - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 00:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1798585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanexercise/pseuds/justanexercise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Alison, fueled by alcohol and the taunting from her friends, shows just how much of a prude she’s not, by trying to seduce the stripper. Only, it’s not a stripper that shows up, but Officer Childs. Soccercop. Alison/Beth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Average Call

Alison’s head is throbbing, not from alcohol, but from her so-called annoying friends. They’re all laughing, at her expense no less. She takes another sip of cheap wine and holds her face with one hand. 

“Pussy,” Sarah says and cocks her annoying eyebrow up as a challenge. 

Bristling, Alison glares at her and turns towards her only companion at this point. “Felix, control your sister!” 

Felix smirks and Alison knows he’s only going to be infuriating. “Don’t be so crass Sis, little suburbanite Alison can’t take the language.” 

Sarah throws her hands up in mock-surrender and bites her tongue. “Fine, you’re a bloody prude Alison.” 

“I am not a prude,” says Alison. She massages her aching temples and wonders why she even agreed to this summer after college get together with them. “I just don’t think we need to hire…” Alison lowers her voice and whispers, “strippers.” 

This is her childhood home for Christ’s sake, she will not defile it with adult entertainment. Alison thanks her lucky stars her parents are gone on some sort of decade-late honeymoon, but is now regretting her plan of playing catch up with her high school friends. What starts as a nice, quiet evening of dinner and a cheesy movie turns into debauchery spiral. Alison sits ramrod straight, she should’ve known though, inviting Felix and Sarah is not meant for quiet anything. 

“Chicken!” Cosima shouts with an innocent smile. 

Great, now Cosima is turning against her. Alison huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “I am not a chicken Cosima.”

“Yea? Prove it,” she takes another drag of her joint. 

Alison’s nose wrinkles in distaste, she’s going to have to get rid of the clinging scent of drug paraphernalia from her walls before her parents get back. She stares at her three friends, each one sporting a mischievous smile, but it’s the look in their eyes that makes Alison fume. They all have that knowing look, the one that says Alison would never do anything spontaneous, she’s so boring and so suburban. Pussy. Prude. Chicken. That’s what makes Alison blurt out, “Fine! Hire one, I dare you.”

And that is the reason why Alison is hugging an empty bottle of wine while she steals Sarah’s glass of bourbon. She doesn’t even hear Sarah’s annoyed grunt, all she feels is the burn of strong alcohol down her throat. 

“When are they getting here?” Alison manages to say without slurring. 

“Keep it in your lululemon, it’s barely been ten minutes,” says Felix. He wrestles the empty bottle away from Alison and hands her a bottle of water to replace it with.

She bobs her head along to the rock music blaring from her father’s high end speakers. That alone attests to how much alcohol is impairing her senses. She hates rock. But tonight, she’s fun Alison, spontaneous Alison, I’ll-show-you-who’s-a-pussy Alison. 

Her doorbell rings and Alison stumbles to her door, ignoring Sarah’s laughter. Alison straightens her back and composes herself, it’s show time. She turns the knob and pulls, the door stays completely shut. Right, she has to unlock it. She throws open the door and knocks her head against the frame trying to pose sexily. Lucky for her, her senses are dulled, unluckily though, she will feel it tomorrow. Her eyes adjust to the change in lighting and Alison sucks in a deep breath. 

“Oh…” 

Alison blinks. 

This isn’t quite right. She distinctively ordered a male stripper, right? Her eyes sweep up and down, no Adam’s apple, smooth cheeks and breasts. Alison tilts her head. This must be Sarah’s doing Alison decides. She will not back down from this simple change, so the stripper is female, a very cute and hot female at that. Alison’s heart skips a tiny beat when the stripper gives her a crooked smile, are those canines longer than normal? 

“Good evening Miss,” says the stripper in a police uniform. “We got a noise complaint.” 

“Of course you did,” Alison bites her lower lip. “Officer,” she squints and reads the patch on her uniform, “Childs.”

Officer Childs cranes her neck and looks into the room, eyeing the empty bottles of alcohol and what suspiciously looks to be marijuana in the ashtray. “I’m Officer Beth Childs. We received a noise complaint, I can hear your music down the street.”

Alison continues to stand there, checking out Beth and getting lost in those brown eyes.

“Come on Alison, you gonna just stand there all night?” Felix hollers. 

Alison pulls Beth into her home and shuts the door. She licks her lips at the sight of the firm butt in those slacks, Alison never thought she is into uniforms, but damn… this woman can rock a pair of slacks. Cosima cat calls from her end of the couch while Felix pouts and grumbles about a mix up. 

“Miss,” Beth says with a disapproving look. “For future references, do not touch a police officer. I can charge you with assault.” 

Right. No touching the strippers. Beth gives her a stern look and damn she’s in good character, even Alison has to admit this stripper probably had good theatre or acting experience. Alison sidles right next to her, barely a hair’s breadth away. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Her nose twitches at the smell of alcohol from Alison’s breath. “I’m hoping you’re all of age,” Beth says and quirks an eyebrow at Cosima who has a joint between her teeth. “And a medical card for that.”

Cosima blows out several impressive smoke rings and grins. “Totally, ADHD.” 

Beth studies their expectant faces and goes to the computer to turn down the volume. After an acceptable level, she shakes her head at the young adults. “I’m going to take your word for it, this time only. Keep the music down and do not leave the house until you’re all sober. Got it?” 

“Shite,” Sarah says with an impressed grin. “You got the copper attitude down.” She licks her lips and leans back into the couch, gesturing towards her lap. “When’s the show gonna start Officer?”

“Excuse me?”

“Hey,” Cosima interrupts. “Who says you’re going first?” 

“Shut it Cos, you have that hot Frenchie waiting for you at school.” 

“Since when were you into girls?” 

Alison clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “No no no. This is not how it’s going to go.” She wobbles towards the cute Officer standing in the middle of the room. Standing in front of her, Alison lets her eyes wander up and down her body, starting with that hat all the way down to the polished leather shoes. Her gaze lingers Beth’s neck, Alison so wants to know how that skin tastes but no touching, she remembers. 

“What are you doing?” says Beth, noticing Alison’s inappropriate staring. 

“I’m objectifying you, sexually.” Alison bites her lower lip and smiles in a way she thinks is sexy. 

Behind the duo though, Felix groans at Alison’s strange come on. “Seriously Alison?” 

Beth can’t help but chuckle. “Okay, I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

“I’m not drunk,” Alison stamps her foot like a toddler. 

“Sure you’re not.” She gently leads Alison to a chair. “You should probably sit down.” 

The three on the couch start wolf-whistling and hollering at what they think is the show finally starting. 

“Woo! Yes a lap dance!” Cosima says. 

Beth whips around. “What?” 

Taking her chance, Alison takes off the cop’s hat and puts it on her own head. 

“Hey,” Beth admonishes. “That’s mine.” 

“Mine now.” 

“Do not make me arrest you,” she says dangerously. 

“Is bondage extra?” Sarah wonders out loud. Felix elbows her sharply in the ribs. “Oi! That hurt.”

Alison spots another opening at Beth’s distraction and starts to unbutton Beth’s uniform. For a drunk, Alison sure has dexterous fingers, she has Beth’s crisp uniform half unbuttoned by the time Beth can catch those quick hands. Alison is disappointed there isn’t a sexy bra being exposed, just a clean white t-shirt. 

“Okay now, you’re really leaving me no choice here,” Beth hisses. She spins Alison around and cuffs her hands behind her back. Shoving Alison down onto the couch next to Cosima, Beth buttons her shirt back up amidst boo’s. “I tried to look the other way and I don’t want to arrest her, so how about you help your friend sober up and I won’t have to take her back to the station.” 

“Oh come on, drop the act already and get to the stripping,” Sarah says. 

“Stripping?” 

“You’re getting paid by the hour yea? That why you’re being a bitch?” 

Alison struggles to stand without the added help of her use of arms for balance. “Stop it Sarah, she’s just very into role play.” 

“Ohhh, soccer mom has a kinky side, the cuffs got you all hot?” Felix teases. 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Alright, I get it now,” Beth says and sighs. “I’m not a stripper.” 

“Sure you’re not, you’re an officer of the law, and I’ve been very bad,” Alison tries to flirt. 

“And I think you need a night in the drunk tank.” 

“Fee?” Beth turns to Sarah and notices her staring at her waist, right where her gun is. “I think she’s the real thing.”

“Oh bollocks.” Felix’s jaw drops and his face goes pale. Beth would’ve been laughing if she weren’t busy trying keeping an eye on Alison, who’s steadily getting closer to her. 

“Shit. Shit, we’re so sorry.” Cosima apologizes with a flurry of hand motions. “Totally thought you’re a stripper.”

“Do I look like a stripper to you?” 

All of them go silent. 

“There’s a right answer to that,” Beth says. “It’s no.”

Alison wavers and falls against Beth, she’s so close to that neck she’s been fantasizing about, and goes for it, she licks her. “You taste so…” Alison cuts off and instead barfs up the excessive alcohol and chunks of her dinner right on Beth’s once-clean shoes. 

~x~

There’s a jackhammer in her head. That’s the only explanation for her splitting headache. Alison groans and blearily wakes up. Fortunately, there’s an aspirin and glass of water on the nightstand and she eagerly takes both. She wonders how on earth she feels so shitty today, then it comes back to her. Sarah effing Manning, Felix doo-doo Dawkins, and Cosima fricking Niehaus. Something with lots of alcohol and eating chicken? Being a chicken? Alison rubs her forehead, she can’t deal with it right now. She flops back onto her pillow; she’s getting too old for these antics. Turning to her side, Alison notices a new addition to her bedroom. She blinks. When did she get a police officer’s hat? She holds it and squints to see it properly. It doesn’t look like Felix’s costume, it actually feels sturdy and real. Taking a quick whiff of the hat, Alison likes the smell. Odd. It smells girly, like shampoo and a distinct pleasant musk that is vaguely familiar. 

The doorbell rings and Alison groans. The sound is piercing her skull, painfully. She yanks open her door and glares, she doesn’t care who it is, they’re making her head hurt. It’s a girl, Alison can’t place how she recognizes the face, but she does. She also notes that she’s kind of cute, in fact very pretty, even with that annoying smirk. 

“Miss Hendrix?” 

“Yes?” she answers, annoyed. 

“You look like shit.” 

Alison’s jaw drops. Who does this girl think she is? She can’t go around knocking on people’s doors and insulting them, no matter how hot they were. Wait, what? 

“You don’t remember me do you? Beth Childs. Officer Beth Childs.” 

“Officer?” Alison squeaks. She’s never been entangled with the law before, how could she? Unless…

“You have my hat, I kind of need that.” 

Alison blinks. 

“The hat you took from me last night?” 

Alison starts to make a connection. The hat. In her room. But how?

“When you thought I was a stripper?” 

Alison’s hands fly to her open mouth and she gasps, horrified. “Oh dear Lord.”

“Ahh, you remember! Now, hat please?” 

“Holy F-Fishsticks, yes, be right back!” 

She runs to her room and grabs the stolen article. “I’m so so sorry,” Alison apologizes over and over again. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Please don’t arrest me.”

Beth takes her hat back from Alison’s trembling hands. “You know, you were all for that last night.” 

“Shit, I’m so…god I’m so sorry. I was drunk?” 

“You really were, puked on me too. You know how much shit I got from coming in smelling like that?” 

Alison doesn’t notice Beth’s smile, instead she’s burying her head into her hands and hoping the ground will swallow her whole. “I’ll pay for your dry cleaning.”

“Don’t worry about it. Part of the job sometimes.”

“Thank you, for…not arresting me last night.”

“We all do stupid shit when we’re young. Just don’t make it a habit.”

“I won’t, I’m going to stop drinking. No more little helpers,” pledges Alison.

“You don’t have to do that, might be a good idea to go dry for a bit though. You’re a cute drunk though.”

“Oh, I uh…” Alison tucks her hair back unconsciously. “Thank you?” She looks shyly up from her lashes at Beth. Alison’s mind keeps whirring through phrases like cute. Pretty. Beautiful. Then gorgeous when Beth smiles, showing off her teeth. Alison’s sure she’s never thought teeth were cute, until Beth Childs smiled. She wants to run her tongue over those canines. Alison’s stomach plummets. Oh no…

“Well, I hope to never see you on duty again Miss Hendrix.”

Alison isn’t sure why that statement cut her so deep, but the thought of Beth leaving her for good is definitely not what she wants. “Wait!” Alison nearly screams. 

Beth stops midway from walking away. “Yea?” 

With leftover liquid courage from last night, Alison blurts out,“C-Can I … have your number?” Alison’s face instantly burns in embarrassment. “O-or not! Sorry, I think I’m still drunk.”

She’s about to slam the door shut and wallow in her self-pity when Beth takes hold of her hand. Alison freezes and about hyperventilates as Beth kisses the back of her hand. Now she’s flushing for entirely different reasons. She can still feel her skin tingling after Beth lets go. 

“Here’s my card, that’s my cell,” Beth points out. “Call me, whenever.”

Fearing her voice would crack if she speaks, Alison nods eagerly and watches Beth get into her car and leave. It isn’t until her cheeks start to hurt from smiling that she goes back into her house. Feeling the giddiness explode from within, she starts dancing and pumping her fists up in the air. She got the cute cop’s number. Alison looks at the card again and traces the name, Officer Elizabeth Childs.


End file.
